This was taken on the fourth of July! Yes, that is how busy I have been. Life has become a complete blur of getting things done. LOL And three kids are way more than double two. This is as good a picture as we could get and in it's own way, it is perfect. Jon actually took the picture with his arm that you can't see.

God has been bringing me through a lot lately. I have been struggling with contradicting scriptures and wondering why doesn't God just spell it out for us. Why doesn't He tell us, "In this situation (which is identical to the one you are going through right now) you should do this..."? Then I found the verse, "In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." I realized that the reason that He doesn't give us all the answers is because, even though He does want us to go to the Bible to learn about Him, He wants a relationship with us. He wants to give us the answers Himself and on a daily basis. He wants us to long to hear his voice and to understand His love.

Sometimes the answers make no sense. Sometimes they seem wrong. Sometimes they are opposite of everything we feel. I won't say that I am in "His Will" because I hear too many people who fling that term around as if "His Will" is whatever they feel like doing at the time. People use the term "His Will" to neglect and hurt others... to hurt me. But I know that there are things that are God's Will for a fact and these are the things that I am striving to do with all my heart: Forgive, Hope, Pray, Protect, and above all Love if maybe only from a distance.

The crazy thing is that I can't do this without His staying help every moment. Sometimes I just cry and that is what He wants from us. Sometimes I question and He says, "It's ok to question." I learned with my brother that you can't control people, especially ones who are bent on living life selfishly. But this I know, God has given me my husband and my kids. No one can argue that. He obviously wants them to be my main focus. He also has given me some great siblings and friends. These are to be my second focus.